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THE DESIGNATED SHOOTER SHOOTOUT... Sponsored by The Little Morts
BACKGROUND: ...Seems Johnny Guitar has decided sobriety is preferable to a felony DUI conviction or worse, so he's off the booze. We've all seen him get a bit out of hand once or twice (self-control ain't exactly his strong suit), so it's not a bad idea, really. He says it's for good, and we'll see how that plays out. But the thing is, we don't think that's gonna stop the rounds of shots that somehow find their way to the stage every night (Thank y'all!!), so we had to come up with a ... uhhhh ... plan to save the rest of us from the pain of drinkin' his share too.
HERE'S HOW IT WORKS: Post a comment (viewable by the public) on our myspace page (not on this page) telling the world why YOU should be Johnny's Designated Shooter for an upcoming show. Make sure you tell us which show you'll be attending. About a week before each gig, we'll review all the posts and decide which sucker - errrr, fan - is most deserving of, well, the right to destroy their liver for an evening on our guitarist's behalf. Once a winner (and we use that term loosely) has been chosen, they'll be notified by email, or posted comment, or carrier pigeon.
THE PRIZE: If you are selected as the winner, you are required (this is not optional, so be careful what you wish for) to get up on stage every time The Little Morts are sent a round of shots, and you cover for Johnny while he drinks a freaking Pepsi or something. You are his Designated Shooter, and if you've been to one of our shows you know that's very serious business! If you skip a shot or miss the show entirely, for any reason other than jail or death, you will be banned from future entries in the Johnny's Designated Shooter Shootout. However, if you do fulfill your obligations and manage to survive the evening, you'll not only have a bunch of free shots in ya, but you'll also get a hearty handshake or a kiss (depending...), probably a tee-shirt or something, maybe cab fare if we make some money that night, and of course one hell of a story to tell the grandkids someday!
Note that The Little Morts do not guarantee the appearance of shots. Some nights people just don't send 'em up, and if you're the Designated Shooter on one of those nights, well, bummer. Hopefully we'll all have better luck next time you win. Further, we cannot assume any responsibility for wrecked cars, hangovers, bumps and bruises, or "beer goggle remorse." Again, be careful what you wish for.
The Small Print: 1) Winners ARE eligible to enter the Designated Shooter Shootout for future gigs. 2) You may include multiple show options on one post, i.e. "I should be Johnny's Designated Shooter on the 21st or 28th because . . .", but you may only win once per post. 3) Past trauma, i.e. "I can't do that shot of JimBeam because I had a bad experience when I was twelve," is NOT a valid reason for shot-skipping and does not excuse you from the shot in question. 4) Inability to find the stage due to intoxication is NOT a valid reason for shot-skipping. 5) Alcohol poisoning is NOT a valid reason for shot-skipping, although it may get "Dying Day" dedicated to you if we haven't played it yet. Enjoy, and GOOD LUCK! --The Little Morts